The Ideal Christian Spouse

Jacob’s pursuit for a wife in Gen 28–29 is instructive for those Christian singles lawfully seeking a spouse to be married to. You can rid most worldly advice such as ‘finding the one,’ etc.
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In providence look for:

1. A Christian Spouse

Then Isaac called Jacob and blessed him and directed him, “You must not take a wife from the Canaanite women. (Gen 28:1)

Jacob was not to marry the cursed Canaanites but was instructed to marry within his close biological family (who were also pagans but perhaps not as bad). From a budding principle in these early chapters of Genesis come later commands such as Dt 7:3 and 1 Cor 7, which succinctly instructs us to ‘marry in the Lord.’

Resolve before the test of circumstances to marry in the Lord. Automatically dismiss any potential non-Christian candidate. Christian marriage is hard enough. Marrying an unbeliever will only add continual strain upon your marriage (and you’ll break God’s law).  

Further, there are also two types of marriages (the latter a reaction against the former): marriages of the head and of the heart. Rachel encourages us to seek both.

1. A Marriage of the Head

Rachel came with her father's sheep, for she was a shepherdess. (Gen 29:9b)

Prospective spouses ought not only pass the heart test but the head. Some pragmatic questions will help us partner with the best possible spouse:

• Do they have any glaringly obvious character faults?
• Are they humble and teachable?
• Do they have life skills that can benefit the marriage?
• What is their financial or educational status?
• What are their parents like? (We often grow to be like our parents!)
• Would they be a good parent?
• Many other pragmatic factors…

However, it would be calloused to only marry because of the head.

1. A Marriage of the Heart

Rachel was beautiful in form and appearance. (Gen 29:17b)

L’amour! It is not wrong to be physically and relationally attracted to your prospective spouse, what we often call ‘falling in love.’ Internal and external beauty is an enjoyable part of life. It draws us and holds us fast to one another. We should find our spouse attractive and love spending time with them. However, love is not an emotion but an action, a choice (which is why you can grow to love).
Just as it would be cold to only marry because of the head it is foolish to only marry because of the heart (i.e. is it love or lust?).
 
Remember, there is no perfect spouse and you are not perfect, but if you follow these three principles and depend upon God’s grace in marriage you will not go wrong and learn to live a happy and content life.