The crowd, the media, pressures people to abandoned independent thought, and through fear, make them conform to their program. That is what lies behind virtue signalling.

Virtue signalling, a buzz word these days, is when you go along with the flow, not believing it to be true, but accepting or giving lip service to it, so that you do not face its wrath or intimidation.

But this is so very dangerous, to go along with something you don’t believe in simply out of the fear of public reprisal. This is how Nazi Germany developed, with too many Germans fearing taking a stand and so becoming virtue signallers for the safety of their families, economic benefit or continued social standing.  

An old county song I recall from my youth had this poignant line, “you’ve got to stand for something, or you’ll fall for anything.”

Biblically, that something ought to be what God has said is true. In grace, we need to pray that as Christians we would have the boldness to speak the truth; that He would give us the courage to stand with the Lord in faith and not go along with the world in fear.

So many men of women of the faith from the Bible and history come to mind when I think of this, however, one verse strikes me, “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.” (1 Cor 16:13)
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May we be radiant signals pointing people away from the world and to Christ!

Names being changed, statues being toppled, all a result of Cancel Culture. What is this?

Cancel Culture is the belief that anything that does not align with “modern sensibilities” or your view or ideology generally, must be cancelled, gotten rid of, purged, forgotten, if we are to liberate ourselves and create the world we desire to live in.

If he/she/they were slave owners, traditionalists, “homophobes,” etc, etc, they have no place in the remembrance of society, they must be cancelled.

From a historical perspective, Cancel Culture is troubling because it seeks to erase history and tell a different tale rather than recognize it, learn from it, understand it as part of your story and move on to new chapters of that story.

Politically it is disconcerting because this is the same strategy employed by Authoritarian and Communist countries. Identify the story that stands against your story and power, and cancel it. Those who used to be traditional liberals and moderates are more and more embracing what their very movement used to stand against.

Spiritually, however, Cancel Culture is most distressing for it foolishly believes that people are perfect. Reality check: if you look hard enough into any past or present figure—and even figures from your own group—you are going to find something nasty you could dig up. Why? Because no one is perfect (Ps 14:1a, Ro 3:10), we’re all sinners (Ro 3:23), even amongst the righteous we will not find one example of someone who never sins (Eccl 7:20).

Seeking to cancel our sin doesn’t change the reality. Instead we ought to recognize it and learn from it; to learn the chief lesson that if we want to become the person God desires us to be we need to ask him to cancel (to forgive) our sin—the shadiness of our past and present—and give us new life by His Spirit.
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There was ever only perfect man, Jesus, and He was hated and killed for being perfect, yet He couldn’t be cancelled. He rose from the dead, is ascended into Heaven and calls on people to look ahead, look up, look to Him, if they desire a better life and future.

Black lives matter.
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Of course they do! Though Christians may hold a patriotic view of their ethno-culture there is no room for nationalistic racism on two grounds: a) all humans have been made in God’s image and so are therefore worthy of respect and value, and b) in relation to slavery, which because of 16th–19th century slavery Africans became linked to, there is likewise no place as Rev 18:13 says that when Babylon (a picture of the corrupt powers of this world) is overthrown, there will be no more slaves, thus Christianity should not support slavery of any form.

All that said, what of BLM, a movement begun in 2016 and now an international network (though not a group that is the voice of all Black people and thus not a homogenous)? You can find out more about them on their website. As trendy as BLM has become in society and amongst the media—you can even buy their merch!—there are a number of concerning elements in BLM that should cause Christians to be warry of it, indeed to take no part in it (instead finding other ways to promote anti-racist causes of justice and to fight modern slavery).

Just a few include:

• Its militancy: Civil Rights activist, Martin Luther King Jr., led many peaceful rallies, much different in nature than many of the militant rallies associated with this movement. This is because King was inspired by the peaceful protests of Ghandi and probably restrained by Biblical commands to respect authorities, or at the least belief in a higher power. Anarchy, anger and atheism have much in common.

[ https://blacklivesmatter.com/what-we-believe/ was used for the points below, however, they have taken down the page.]

• Its view of marriage, sexuality and gender: The movement is brazenly LGBT (what about black people who aren’t or who don’t support this, are they not truly black?). As such it stands against God’s clear designs as laid down in Scripture.
• Against the nuclear family: Because many African American families are broken BLM wants to normalize single-parenthood, etc. As such they are against the nuclear family that the Bible lays down as foundational for society and a gift from God.
• Normalization: Rather than acknowledge the oughtnotness of something and work to resolve it, it concedes that what many Blacks experience ought to be normalized to avoid stigma. The Bible doesn’t normalize oughtnotness, rather it points us to the One who can deliver us from our imperfect state to a perfect end, in Christ, by His Spirit and according to His Word.

Let’s not be undiscerning when it comes to new movements. Many movements are indeed godless, even if they appear to have initial merit. Deeper investigation is needed to see if something aligns with God’s Word. Certainly we want to affirm God honouring elements within movements but in doing so we must be diligent not to compromise other key values. (Ro 12:9).

Beloved, do not believe every spirit [or new and popular movement], but test the spirits to see whether they are from [or of] God… (1 Jn 4:1a)

When anyone asks me to marry them I will always agree to have at least one meeting, to learn about the couple, see where they are spiritually, get to know one another and see if we (officiant and couple) are a good fit. It’s a no-strings attached informal info session. At the very least it is an opportunity to share of the Christian vision of marriage and most importantly the Gospel. If we decide to proceed the couple commits to biblical premarital counselling.

Sometimes, sadly, because of sin and an unwillingness to do things God’s way on the part of the couple, I, by conscience and conviction, cannot proceed beyond this first conversation. This is of course done respectfully and charitably but must nevertheless be done. For example, I cannot marry same-sex or trans-gendered couples. Adultery, fornication, divorce and remarriage are also things that must be seriously explored. If the couple are not Christians I ask why a Christian marriage and will invest in a couple seriously interested in the ways of the Lord versus those interested in a Christian wedding simply because the Church has a centre aisle. I believe holy matrimony to be a sacred institution and so I am quite comfortable stepping outside of the common lens of seeing it as a form of evangelism (it is primarily an opportunity to disciple and not to evangelize, though in some cases this may be a positive side benefit). As someone who is lawfully allowed to officiate over wedding ceremonies I take the opportunity with all seriousness likening the responsibility to James 3:1, not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness.

You may have noticed that I left out one sort of couple, the blended couple, or a Christian seeking to marry a non-Christian. Should a Christian even entertain marrying a non-Christian? Should a Christian officiant preside over a mixed-wedding? Though  some would argue it is a great opportunity to convert the non-believer, a work the Christian spouse can finish up, the classic evangelical response and consensus has been, and still is, “no.” The remainder of this blog will unpack “why.”

The why centres around what the Bible clearly says. This is not an ambiguous area where there is some degree of flexibility, the Scriptures are quite clear on the matter. Let’s build from the less clear to the clear passages:

• During the Patriarchs there seems to be a foreshadowing of marrying like kin in Isaac and Jacob obtaining wives, not from the Canaanites, but from “back home” where Abram and Sarai had come from.
• This becomes an all pervading command, to not marry outside of the faith, when Israel becomes a nation holy to the Lord. This comes up many times. The Law stated (Dt 7:3), Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons. Solomon’s folly to marry foreign woman and how it led to his demise is perhaps the classic example (1 Ki 11). Though inter-marriage may have seemed like a useful tool to build alliances or grow the faith, the opposite is in fact the case, the non-believer has a negative spiritual effect upon the believer.
• Move along to the New Testament and you get two clear verses that build upon this well established OT theme:
  • 2 Cor 6:14, “do not be unequally yoked [or hitch up, crossbred] together with unbelievers.”
    • This verse is directly speaking to believers in the Corinthian church who were rebelling against Paul’s warning not to ally themself with those who professed Christ but denied Him by their unrighteous behaviour or to identify wrongly with unbelievers (see Lev 19:19 and Deut 22:10). However, the principle has various other applications, including marriage. Marriage is a yoking together of the most profound kind within human relationships. We are called to be bound together with someone who is likewise a Temple of the living God (v.16).
  • 1 Cor 7:39, “marry in the Lord.”
    • In this chapter Paul is addressing a number of ethical questions surrounding sex and marriage. Primarily it asks what a Christian spouse, who presumably became a Christian after marriage, should do if the other spouse abandons them because of their new found faith. Paul adds this to adultery as a lawful ground for a divorce. However, in the midst of this reflection, he commands widows to “marry in the Lord,” a reminder of all the clear verses above. Christians are called to only marry fellow Christians.[1] To do otherwise, or to perform the wedding of a mixed-couple, is therefore to be disobedient.

While disobedience can always be forgiven, and God in His mercy gives the unequally yoked more grace as they seek Him in their mixed-marriage, it does still have its consequences. I have never met a Christian who married a non-Christian who afterwards said, “gee, that was the best decision I ever made.” They are always filled with regret. They struggle with:

• A knowledge of their disobedience but their inability to lawfully change their circumstances;
• The folly of their unfounded hope that they could convert their spouse;[2]
• Conflicting values that produce unnecessary tension or conflicts of varying degrees;
• The temptation to abandon the faith (apostacy). Many, many more professing Christians who marry non-Christians become like them vs. maintaining their faith or the unbeliever becoming a Christian.

One of the hardest things I ever had to do was meet with a relative who wanted me to marry them to their unbelieving fiancé and, going through the mentioned first meeting, having to say no. Though I took a lot of initial flak from the family at large I can say with a clear conscience that I have absolutely no regrets. That individual, however, has many regrets and along with believing family members, in hindsight, have conceded the error of going against Scripture. The interesting thing is that I gained more personal respect from the couple by saying no than had I said yes. There is an attractiveness to winsomely principled people.

Whether you are considering marriage for the first time or are in a situation of remarriage, resolve today to be obedient to the Lord and only “marry in the Lord.” This should be the number one criterion you have in finding a spouse.

If you find yourself in a mixed-marriage, confess and ask the Lord to strengthen your faith and save your spouse. Surround yourself with a good church and strong Christian fellowship and may your brothers and sisters in Christ prayerfully support you.

As always, would love to chat if this or any blog generates an biblical or situational questions. These are difficult matters, let us wrestle with them before the Lord and with His help.


[1] If you cannot find a Christian spouse it is better to wait upon the Lord than settle for something less. He will honour your patience. 

[2] Though I have met a select few upon whom the Lord had mercy and the spouse was converted, this shouldn’t fuel disobedience nor foster wishful thinking.